New poll says Madonna is irrelevant

Added by on April 20, 2012

Hollywood, California, USA – A new poll found 65% of those surveyed said Madonna is not relevant to their existence. One interviewee summed it up saying, “Madonna’s music has no impact. I’d rather sit on a beehive than listen to her.”

Fortunately, most had heard of Madonna to some degree or another. Parri Peachly, a 16-year-old high school dropout studying for her GED and gets Madonna, yet feels she’s irrelevant to the future of music. “She put out an album called MDNA that my BFF bought. I listened to one cut called ‘Give Me All Your Luvin’ From someone my mother’s age? Really? Back to Adele.”

Parri’s boyfriend, Weed Grasser, 18, declined to comment except to shake his head and mutter, “Madonna is hot.” Grasser’s comment was in line with the 22% of men responding positively to the question, “Is it okay for Madonna to have a 24-year-old boyfriend even though that’s disgusting?”

Frank DiOreo, 21, said, “If she wants to spring for a tricked-out Dodge Ram pickup like J-Lo just did for her tinker boy, that’s cool. But he shouldn’t marry her unless there’s a pre-nup leaving everything to him if they divorce or she kicks it while they cohabit in the same dwelling.”

Morris Rockefeller, Senior Editor, at, commented that the scientific polling method that uses rules out the need for any “wiggle room” for sampling errors. “These were totally random people who looked like they listen to music. Any charges that the questions were slanted to elicit a certain response are without merit.”

Poll questions started with the statement “Some think Madonna looks really old at 54, and she should just pack it in and stop embarrassing her children and the world!” Then the interviewer asked, “What are your thoughts on Madonna’s music and her aging process?” says it knows what it’s doing. If Madonna questions the results, and editor said, “maybe she needs to call Dr. Phil to see if he thinks she’s really old or just looks that way due to bad lighting. Possibly he could write some new songs for her also.”

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Contact: Morris Rockefeller, Senior Editor,